The Devil's Advocate

After a painful defeat to Rajasthan in the first IPL semi, I considered giving up my residential allegiances to Delhi and getting back to my ancestral roots and cheering for Punjab. But, those of you who read my blog regularly(yes, all four of you) know that when I back a team, I support it unconditionally through the good, the bad and the ugly(Everton, a case in point) ! Even though the Daredevils became fainthearted when it mattered, the campaign on a whole has still been satisfactory. As the IPL progressed, it became clear that Rajasthan and Mohali would be competing for the top spot; Bangalore(If it's Mumbai Indians and Kolkotta Knight Riders then shouldn't it Bengaluru Royal Challengers?Sorry for the digression but that's a valid point.) and Deccan for the wooden spoon; and that left a glut of 4 teams all very close together in the middle fighting it out for the last two semifinal births. It was to our credit that we held our nerve in many crucial games (and Mumbai lost theirs) to make the top four despite two heavily rain interrupted matches.
So to lift the spirits of my fellow Daredevils(atleast two of the aforementioned 4 are Daredevils) I've come up with a list of why Delhi are a good team and would return strongly next season:

1. We are amongst the best fielding sides in the tournament. I know it takes a brave man to maintain that after Yomahesh and Maharoof's clangers in the semi but if you have followed the IPL regularly you know it's true. Dhawan has probably been the best fielder in the IPL snapping up stunning catches for fun. Add to that Gambir, Tiwary, Dilshan, Karthik, Shoaib Malik, AB de Villiers, Amit Mishra, Daniel Vettori and Sangawan and you know what I'm talking about. Uptill the semis we had inflicted the most runouts-14- in the tournament as well.
2. We are a team with a Delhi Core. No other team in the IPL can claim that. Delhi is the only side where most of the stars are Delhites- Gambir, Viru, Dhawan, Amit Mishra(he moved to Haryana a few years ago to further his career), Sangawan and Rajat Bhatia.
3. We do not have an egoistic individual at the helm. Think Mallya, Dada and SRK and you wuld get my point. We are not a team that can be disrupted by controversies.
4. Three of our leading wickettakers had economy rates of under 7. Once again we are the only team with three bowlers with that distinction. McGrath(12 wickets in 14 matches @ 6.6), Maharoof(15 wickets in 10 matches @ 6.9) and Mishra(11 wickets in 6 matches @ 6.9) have formed a potent yet economical attack. Asif, Yomahesh, Sangwan, Geeves and Bhatia haven't been good consistently but the other three have ensured that with slight tweaking our attack would be excellent next season. I suggest Mitchel Johnson(a very realistic target, won't be too expensive and is a proven performer in T20).
5. Our top 3 has scored almost 1300 runs in the tournament. Even though our middle order has been frail, the form of Gambhir, Sehwag and Dhawan means that one good batsman will sure up our ranks. I suggest Kevin Pietersen!
   

The Little Town that’s Catching Up

In my first ever trip to the Deccan Plateau, in the recently elapsed Holi vacations, I visited a small place (with a population of only about a three-quarters of a Lakh) called Baramati for some conference. Primarily an agricultural town, famous for its sugarcane farming, Baramati is quietly catching up to the bigger cities in terms of computer literacy. To a first time visitor Baramati would immediately come across as an endearing place with its peaceful surroundings and cleanliness, not to mention roads that a metro would be envious of. I was impressed by the small town instantly but I had no idea that it was pioneering a digital revolution. So when a chatty journalist claimed that almost everyone here knows what a computer is and atleast half the population knows how to use it, I couldn’t help but laugh(under my breath, off-course). Though I was convinced that it was an exaggeration and a very elaborate one at that, I decided to test his hypothesis by asking a road sweeper if he knew what a computer is, he said off course he did, a computer is a machine that plays music and gives print-outs!

The conference in Baramati was on the benefits of information and communication technology to communities with bigwigs from Microsoft, Intel etc. participating. Initially, I thought that a rural town was an odd location to host it, especially since Pune was just a hundred kilometers away. But once I got to know more about Baramati, I realized that it was the ideal location for the conference as it is a shining example of a community embracing IT to improve their daily lives.

The local hospital in Baramati practices telemedicine. Every day it sends hundreds of Mega Bytes of data via broadband internet to hospitals in Bengaluru and Mumbai and receives diagnoses within minutes. There is a community computer center that employs computer savvy locals to provide services like railway reservation, airline reservation, resume building, typing in English and several other languages, computerized Janam-Kundalis and loads more. Microsoft runs a program here called “Unlimited Potential” where it teaches local housewives to use the computer. Intel too has been particularly generous in offering buses equipped with computers serving as mobile computer training centers for school children. Their community radio is as modern as any private radio and is run by locals. When I asked the woman who manages the broadcasts at the radio center what happens if there is a problem with the computers, she casually replied that we can handle 80% of the problems ourselves and we can always call one of the boys from the nearby engineering college to help us out.

Baramati is the home-town and constituency of Sharad Pawar(yes, the BCCI Chairman), who the people claim is responsible for the development of Baramati. If that is true, I can’t help but admire his work. If only every other politician was as devoted to his constituency India would be a much better place.

Assorted Nuts

To give credit where it's due, let me tell you that the idea of writing a travel diary occurred to me after reading Ravi's blog. Of course, I was also inspired in no small way by my railway trips to and from Delhi, over the weekend.

The journey had every sign of being a crappy one, when my waiting list ticket wasn't confirmed. Fortunately, I remembered someone told me that a guy from Metallurgy was also going to Delhi on that day. So I made a few inquiries, in the hope that this guy would have had more foresight than me and booked his ticket much earlier or at least had the prudence to pay a little extra for a tatkal ticket. Unfortunately, such maturity can't be expected from an ITian and least of all from a Meta guy (No offense people, but even you know it’s true!). So after a few phone calls, I found that this person whom everyone referred to as "Khandu" too was without a seat. I have never been in such a situation before where I didn't have a seat so I went over to the nearest TT and asked him if someone with a wait list ticket could board the train. His reply was that I could but I wasn't entitled to a berth. His exact words were “no berth only Earth", and then he looked around to see if someone else had also heard what I am sure he considered to be the smartest thing he had ever said. Alas, amid the random kinesis at the railway station I was his sole audience. He looked hopefully at me expecting to be congratulated on his impromptu wit but I was in no mood to laud such a wannabe prose.

I decided to look at the seating charts randomly in the hope of finding someone whom I knew. My luck was in and I found that a senior who lived in my hostel was the occupant of berth 9 in S1. He graciously offered me his seat and I called Khandu to tell him that he too could come over and share the berth. After sharing a Maharaja Mac and a Veg Surprise with Piyush Puri(the senior) we began to talk. The string "world war", came up in casual conversation and a short, slender, bearded person sitting in front of us sprang into attention like a schoolboy smacked on the butt with the drill master's cane.

His opening remarks were a redefinition of world war and claims that the two world wars described in history weren't the real world wars. Piyush and I nodded instinctively (the instinct, no doubt has been developed as a result of classes in IT) in the hope that some acknowledgment would shut him up. Unfortunately this was just the encouragement that he needed and he settled down comfortably to share his viewpoints further. Piyush and I tried ignoring him, turning away, conversing amongst ourselves, pretending to be sleepy but this idiot just didn't get the message. When the weirdo began talking about some deep rooted conspiracies I played my trump card of putting on my earphones. Once my earphones were on, he decided to increase his volume and in between Zepplin and Smash Mouth I heard him deny the existence of Hitler. Piyush at the time had his head in his hands and the look of a trapped man.

When Khandu showed up in our coach after about two hours of the journey (he had apparently been offered a seat in S4 and I assume that after a while they decided to give him the boot) Piyush seemed to be half asleep and suffering a headache (and I really don't think he was pretending), the nutty professor was still going strong. As if to greet the newest member of his audience he reached into a large carry bag and whipped out a pamphlet titled "Vishwa Kranti", his bag was filled only with copies of such pamphlets. He extended it to me and I turned it over once and returned it with fake praise. He then began a sermon of how science is a lie and scientists are busy covering this to maintain their social positions. At least by now a couple of other people had shown interest in his unconventional views and I was off the hook.

When Khandu and I came back after a brief foray at the Allahabad station Piyush seemed to have shaken off the ill effects of listening to a few hours of total bullshit and the three of us sat down for dinner. The revolutionary by now had a sizable audience and even at a few minutes past ten, no one was asleep in our compartment. Khandu seized the opportunity and laid down on a vacant berth. Piyush and I did the same. When at about 2.00 AM someone told Khandu to get lost in very clear terms, I advised him to go and share a berth with Ajit, a friend of mine who had boarded the train at Kanpur.

When I woke up in the morning, the psycho, now fully refreshed, was preparing to launch another attack of words. I decided to go say hi to Ajit, primarily to get away from the ceaseless random babbling in my compartment. As soon as Ajit saw me he told me that a he had a close encounter of the homosexual kind last night. Khandu apparently went to him at 2 in the night and very bluntly stated “I want to sleep with you”. Believe me, I am not paraphrasing! Ajit obviously misinterpreted that (who wouldn’t?) and told Khandu to stay away in a very panicky tone. As far as the story goes Khandu then returned wondering what he had done wrong and spent the rest of the night sitting on an occupied berth in our compartment.

The train was delayed by an hour and this gave the unusually energetic orator the time to describe his plans for political reshuffling. He said that athletes should run the country and Tendulkar should be Prime Minister. He also told us that he was going to deliver a seminar in Delhi and invited everyone to attend. When the train crawled into New Delhi Railway Station and we were readying to get off the bearded man asked us very matter of factly “Bhaiya, Kya lagta hai Manmohan Singh mujhe jawab de sakte hain?”

Toffees to the Four!

At the onset let me make it very clear, this post has nothing to do with me distributing confectionery to four people. You might consider that an unnecessary clarification but given that Ravi has already interpreted it that way once, I felt it was best to digress briefly.

So, coming to the point now, this post is meant simply to be an acknowledgment of the fantastic season that Everton(nicknamed the Toffees) are having till date. Everton are currently sitting pretty in the league in fourth place(Now you get it, don't you?); are virtually in the Round of 16 in the UEFA Cup; and have had a very laudable Carling Cup which ended in the semi-finals. True, we would have ideally liked to have done better in the FA Cup, but you can't win them all.

Our good form this season is due largely to a settled team. The crux of the squad has been together for a couple of seasons now and they are starting to gel. The spine of the team is strong and consistent. Man Utd reject Tim Howard has blossomed under Moyes and is now one of the most reliable keepers in the division. Joseph Yobo and Jolean Lescott have been rocks in defence. Mikel Arteta's passing and movement have made him Everton's prized asset and the pint sized dynamo, Tim Cahill has been phenomenal in a Blue shirt. Leon Osman too seems to be recognizing his potential and is beginning to fulfill the promise he showed in his younger days. The versatile Phil Neville(another Man U reject) has enjoyed a renaissance since his transfer and proudly sports the captain's armband these days. Andy Johnson's been bagging goals and terrifying defenses with his pace for a long time now. Big money summer recruit Yakubu has settled in very quickly and is repaying the huge faith and money invested in him with rich dividends. Young defenders Leighton Baines and Phil Jagielka, also drafted in over the summer, too have made good starts to their Everton career. The versatile Jags has already played as a holding midfileder, a full back and as a center back. His ability to play as a central defender has afforded Everton the luxury of deploying Lescott as a left wing back and the former Wolves man has been a part of countless meaningful attacks. Borussia Dortmund's Steven Pienaar, who struggled to cope with the Bundesliga, has really taken to life in the Premier League and the attack-minded midfielder is expected to make his loan move permanent in the summer. Probably, Moyes's masterstroke in the transfer market has been signing Manuel Fernandes from Valencia on loan with a view to a permanent deal. Moyes could well have pulled off a major bargain for a man the Che paid more than $17 Million for.

The team is primarily composed of young players who have their best days ahead of them. The strike force looks especially potent with highly rated youngsters Vaughan and Anichebe waiting in the wings. What is a perfect coincidence is that Vaughan is a lot like Johnson and Anichebe is the striking image of Yakubu. Needless to say the young proteges could not have had better mentors. Even though a huge Everton favourite James Mcfadden has been sold to Birmingham to reclaim some of the money invested in the summer, the Toffees continue to look very sharp in attack.

Moyes has Everton playing very simple and effective football. Unlike the labyrinthine tactics of some of the other sides, Everton focus on getting the basics right and building from the back. Moyes's formations often involve two attacking midfielders starting ahead of two deeper midfielders and just behind Cahill playing off the striker. The attacking style is possession oriented and is particularly effective on quick breaks. All in all Everton set out to win 1-0 but often play some great football. Arsene Wenger, Jose Mourinho and Andy Gray are just a few of the experts who have acknowledged that.

After many years the Everton squad looks to have the depth needed to excel in a variety of competitions. Most punters are starting to eye up Everton as genuine contenders for the UEFA Cup and serious challengers for the fourth place. No matter, what happens from now till the end of the season, David Moyes and the team can give themselves a pat on the back for winning six on the trot(a streak likely to be extended) in Europe-a Toffee record; and challenging Liverpool, who have spent more than 40 Million pounds this season to buy players, for a Champion League spot.

The Greatest Cinematic Experience of My Life

On a chilly December night I sat cooped up in a small hostel room, crammed with 3 other movie enthusiasts, watching a low definition print on a laptop with a smallish screen with my neck bent at a painful angle. Yet, I loved every minute of it! Given, I had nothing better to do at the time, I still wouldn’t have sat through those conditions for anything else, not even for a Pamela Anderson video.

I have done a movie review on the blog before, but this is not a review, this is just my description of something very special. However, for the sake of continuity (and as a disregard for brevity, :) ) I’ll give The Prestige a 5/5 . That’s right, a perfect score! For an appreciator of thrillers, The Prestige is a perfect flick.

Directed by Christopher Nolan, The Prestige is another magnificent feather in his exotic cap. Remember Nolan has also directed Memento, Batman Begins and Insomnia. Like all his other movies The Prestige takes the liberty of making the audiences think. Nolan has always been fond of non-linear and broken timelines (recall Memento’s parallel forward and backward moving sequences and Al Pacino’s distorted perception in Insomnia), but he uses it to particularly brilliant effect in The Prestige. The plot of The Prestige can’t easily be summed up in words, but I finally have some time to kill so I’ll give it a shot.

So here it goes, The Prestige is a story of the intense rivalry of two brilliant magicians Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) and Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) based in Victorian times. The beauty of the movie is that it has three intertwining timelines: the present, the retrospective and the retrospective within the retrospective! Despite the complicated structure, the flick flows effortlessly between Alfred Borden in a London Jail for allegedly murdering Robert Angier; Angier in Colorado Springs seeking the scientific assistance of Tesla to outdo his rival and his subsequent return to London; and the early period of Angier and Borden’s careers during which they were colleagues briefly. Angier is a master showman who captivates his audiences and Borden is the better magician who can’t quite present his tricks as well. When Borden performs the ultimate trick, “The Transported Man”, Angier becomes obsessed with figuring it out and outdoing it.

You will enjoy The Prestige even if you can’t keep up with the plot but if you figure out Nolan’s magic tricks you will have an experience like none other.

The casting of the movie is flawless, Jackman plays the elegant Angier perfectly and Bale too outdoes himself in his portrayal of the rougher Borden. The distinguished Michael Caine also churns out a refined performance. Scarlett Johansson parading in cute Victorian outfits provides plenty of eye candy but you will be too captivated by the story to notice the curvaceous leading lady wearing tight, cleavage revealing tops and fluffy skirts (Whoops! Looks like I did notice, :)).

If you have already seen The Prestige you know what I am talking about, if you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor and watch it at the earliest opportunity. Though heed my warning, don’t watch it if you have work early next morning because you’ll spend a sleepless night trying to figure it out.

Centumphobia: Fear of the Number 100

Here is a bit of really easy trivia: who is the leading centurion in international cricket? Any cricket fan worth his salt would laugh in your face for asking him this. Here is a slightly more difficult question: who has scored the most number of nineties in international cricket? Mmm … Sachin? Right again. With 22 nineties (15 in ODIs and 7 in Tests, none of them are not outs) Sachin is way ahead of his nearest rivals, who atleast have the consolation of a few not out 90s.

Sachin clinically demolished Pakistan's bowling in Mohali but as soon as he got in the 90s there was a buzz in the common room of my hostel, will he get a century this time? 10 bucks say he won't. As it turned out I should have gotten in on that bet because rest assured a panic attack struck Sachin at 99 and he prodded Umar Gul's routine delivery to a very grateful Kamran Akmal.

His 90s jinx has been especially apparent in One Day Internationals this year. His last ODI ton came against the West Indies in January 2007 and in the 26 games since then Sachin has managed 11 fifties and an excellent average of 44.9. Of these 11 fifties, 5 have been 90s including 3 99s(thats also a record: only player to be dismissed for 99 thrice in ODIs). 26 games without a triple figure score is also his third most barren spell. So whats wrong? Has the Master Blaster become the Master Choker or has he been having really bad luck. Its really a combination of the two, his nervousness in the 90s and some terrible decisions by the umpires.

Here is something you might not have noticed: had Sachin converted his every 90 into a century he would have been the first ever cricketer to score one hundred centuries (37+41+22=100) in international cricket!

If these keeps up “Nervous 90s” may be renamed “Tendulkar 90s”. Come on Sachin score a century and shut me up!

Sachin’s ODI 90s in 2007

99      v       SA      in      Ire     at Belfast    

93      v       SA      in      Ire     at Belfast

99      v       Eng     in      Eng     at Bristol

94      v       Eng     in      Eng     at The Oval

99      v       Pak     in      Ind     at Mohali

Internet is Killing Language!

Inspired by David Duchovny’s dialogues in Californication

Hello blogosphere, I am back, after a week’s absence due to a despicable little thing called tests. This post is on the effect of the internet on language. Internet isn’t killing language (that was just an exaggeration, to get you to read this post and it clearly worked) but it is making it primitive, bending grammar and redefining syntax. People don’t talk anymore, they chat; they don’t write, they blog (I am now a part of the problem). All across these modern methods of communication there is a common pattern, a disregard for grammar. Punctuations, by some are looked at as an unnecessary keystroke. Worse still, others think of it as an unmeaningful tool at their disposal for decoration, to be used wherever and as many times as the heart desires. Seriously, what good does putting more than one question mark or exclamation mark do? How is “????” different from the good old “?” and how is “!!!!!” different from “!” ?

Some people (maybe even you) would pass this off as the evolution of language, but this is not evolution, this is regression. “English” on the internet does not resemble English (you might want to read that again, it is not a typo).

A lot of the shorthands and deliberate misspellings were introduced because they save time but now they have become a fad and are slowly spilling over to more formal usage as well.

Some believe that anything that is comprehensible is acceptable. As this train of thought spreads, text on the internet gets more and more obscure. This is what I found on the internet:

“LOLZ NUHUH iiM So0o0o0o000o0o0o GUD @ 3NGLiiSH!”

This is comprehensible but I am using the word in a very liberal sense.

If this keeps up, in due time, our language may start to resemble what the cave men used to speak!

That is my opinion, you may consider it, disregard it, lambaste it or ignore it and I would appreciate if you posted some comments in the process.

If you liked this post, you might want to read books r a mans best frnd by Akshay Rajgopalan as well.